Still Sellin' What Nobody's
A closer look at the scams of today's supplement
industry that we thought disappeared with rainbow-colored Zubaz
and 20 set bicep workouts...
You naughty marketeers at Cytodyne need
to be a little more forthright with the consumer about exactly what
it is we're getting out of our Cytopro protein. The label clearly
states that each scoop contains "3.5grams of our revolutionary
proprietary Cytodyne formula". How is it possible to retail
Cytopro protein (105g of Cytodyne combined with 720g of whey isolate)
for $42.99 while the Cytodyne capsule formula (98.5g of Cytodyne
without the protein) retails for $79.99. I called one of Cytodyne's
tele-gurus (I use that title very cautiously) to get to the bottom
of this. I think their chin is still bruised from their jaw hitting
the ground when I brought this little mishap to their attention.
Unfortunately, they had no feasible answers to provide me with.
I then proceeded to move up the food chain until I finally got one
of their managerial types to admit that the ratios of ALC, PS, Glutamine,
etc. had been manipulated from their original Cytodyne capsule format
to keep costs down on the Cytopro. After all, who in the hell is
going to buy 2 lbs of protein for $100 plus? Despite the fact that
I just proceeded rip Cytodyne a new one, I will say in all fairness
that Cytopro does appear to be a decent product. I just have a hard
time forfeiting my cash to companies that have no marketing integrity.
End of story.
Nitrotech. Could you please be a little
more misleading on your label claims?
This is going to sound like another episode
from the Cytodyne saga but once again I couldn't resist so here
goes. If you'll kindly direct your attention to the front label
of Muscletech's revolutionary (once again, I use that word very
loosely) protein it clearly states that it "contains 97% whey
protein isolate". Sounds like pretty good stuff, right? After
all, it also includes the new glucose disposal agent Inzitol (pinitol),
a little extra taurine and some ALA (alpha lipoic acid). These all
seem to be wonderful things. Don't jump on the wagon so fast my
friend. If you'll take a moment to direct your attention to the
list of ingredients, you will notice that whey isolate is nowhere
near the top of the list. In fact, it is several ingredients down
on the totem pole. Did they lie about the ingredients? No, it does
indeed contain 97% whey isolate just as the Home Shopping Network's
3 carat cubic zirconia ring contains 14k gold plating. Wording can
be tricky. Don't be sucked into these types of juvenile scams or
you'll be $41.99 deep on a jug of whey concentrate that you could
have paid $20 for.
Nice try Bill (Darwin)
This is almost painful to write about.
I had nothing but the utmost respect for EAS and Muscle Media 2000
for many years, but those days are definitely behind me now. I really
have nothing bad to say about the quality of EAS products. The quality
control seems to have remain intact from the good ol' days. Although,
I really question their slogan, "Where Science Never Stands
Still". Science has indeed been standing still for quite sometime
over there in Golden, CO. I don't believe they've innovated anything
all that new since HMB and I think I'll let the results people got
from that product speak for itself. Oh, except Bill who "feels
like he's using Deca!" when he's on it. Anyhow, back to the
subject at hand. I've been pointing out something suspicious to
people for the last couple of years now. Touche' Testosterone for
beating me to the punch in writing about this one. What's up with
that damn evolution ad EAS has been running in Muscle Media? You
know the one... where the fat, prozac-dependent, hairy guy turns
into a manly, testosterone-screaming, stud beast in a mere 12 weeks.
Wow Bill! Your products and training advice must have been nothing
short of ingenious to get Clark in that kind of shape in only 3
months. Especially since he's only been a top notch fitness model
and bodybuilding competitor (please reference the older MM2K, Muscular
Development, Ironman, ESPN Bodyshaping, etc., etc.) for God knows
how many years now. If you'll kindly have a gander at exhibit A
(The Evolution of Clark Bartram), you'll notice that Clark becomes quite
a specimen in only 12 weeks time, but only with Master Bill's advice of course.
Cell Tech. 678.4% better than creatine
If I had a nickel for everytime I had to
explain the marketing hoax behind this whole jug-o-creatine/sugar
thing I'd have been long since retired now. Lets get something straight
once and for all; creatine is creatine as long as it's from a reptuable
source such as SKW, the world's largest manufacturer in Germany.
Will adding a high glycemic carb help creatine get in the muscle?
Sure it will. Insulin plays a role in nearly every storage process
in our bodies, fat, carbs, and yes, even creatine. Does that justify
the price tag on this product? Not hardly, considering a 2lb bag
of dextrose retails for about 3 bucks. I'll let you do the math
on that one. Not to mention, I noticed something very suspicious
when tooling around at the Arnold Schwarzengger Classic last weekend.
Muscle-Tech was handing out these shirts saying "Cell Tech,
1800% better than creatine". I even saw one that said 2200%
! How did we all of the sudden go from 600% to 2200% ? The funny
part is that the formula hasn't ever changed a bit, only the marketing
hype has. Does the word integrity mean anything to you guys? Uhhhh,
Chitosol. "You don't have to watch
what you eat or subject yourself to those strenuous workouts"
---gimme a friggin break!
I do apologize that I'm wasting space in
this article to even address these morons but hey, infomercials
need a profuse smacking about the neck and ears too from time to
time. I'm assuming any individual who devotes the time to educating
themselves by reading Shapeshifter doesn't need to be told that
weight training is the key to building a lean, attractive physique
in a timely manner. Not to mention the improved hormonal profiles
in males and females, improved lactate removal, increased insulin
sensitivity, improved bone density, improved cardiovascular efficacy
and improved self esteem (from your improved, hot body). You mean
to tell me all these people who have changed their quality of life
through proper training and diet were wasting their time all along?
All they needed was a box of Ho-Ho's and a 60 day supply of Chitosol
and my abilities as a trainer would've been null and void? Wow...
now that's a pretty nifty product. Nuff said.
Something's Rotten in Golden again
All right, I don't mean to be the world's
biggest Bill detractor, but he's making it just a bit too easy for
me to pass up the opportunity. You all remember Scott Nelson?...
our fit friend from Muscle Media's training advice column who never
had the motivation to get serious about his workouts until Bill's
magical little training system came along... It seems to me I remember
Scott winning the Gopher State bodybuilding championships sometime
back in the mid-eighties. Damn Bill, that's almost as bad as trying
to convince us it was your products and advice that got Clark Bartram
in top notch condition. Ok, I promise to lay off Bill now.
This one definitely takes the cake. Just
the name should pretty much say it all, but just in case you actually
need more evidence to avoid this product like the head of Jack Nicholson's
golf club in LA rush hour trafiic, let's have a closer look at the
list of ingredients:
Great for men who want to effortlessly grow a big porno-star sized
pair of jugs.
Similar to estrone but packs about ten times the estrogenic punch.
Best weight loss supplement on the market. That is, if your goal
is to primarily lose muscle.
And if the pathetic everything-and-the
kitchen-sink list of ingredients wasn't enough, it is also a homeopathic
formula. In other words it wouldn't contain enough of the active
ingredients to have an effect anyway.
How can these guys look us in the face
and say Marla Duncan lost weight because of Hydroxycut? Given that
she is pregnant in the before pic, but not the after, I should hope
she lost a few pounds when she popped the little rugrat out. You
gotta love when a company credits their product for getting a world-class
fitness model in shape even though the model was in superior shape
before the product was ever on the market. Doesn't it make ya wonder?
Now we all know the old rule of thumb in
the supplement biz. If a product is named after a steroid, it's
probably bunk. If the company in question actually has the balls
to say it works like steroids too, then their product is as fake
as Mark Wahlberg's unit was at the end of Boogie Nights. This company
has ridden this marketing strategy to the hilt. Their ads have more
made up six-syllable words, junk science and bullshit testamonials
than any ten shady companies out there. Take their Decavar subject
"Tammy" for instance. She got more gains in six weeks
on Decavar than she had in her previous five years of training.
What they didn't mention in the study was that Tammy's neighborhood
YMCA she had always trained at didn't buy any weight equipment until
about six weeks ago. Of course, "IntraGROWTH is to growth hormone
what Paradeca, Decavar, and Methoxygen are to anabolic/androgenic
steroids". Yes, and VPX is to sports nutrition what the San
Diego Chargers were to football last season... the bottom of the
The Final Word
Will this article put a stop to the marketing
madness in the nutrition industry today? Not a chance, but if it
saves one or two 16 year old weightlifting newbies from wasting
their money needlessly then it was worth our time. There are so
many supplements on the market today that are truly phenomenal and
companies that price their products fairly without an earful of
empty promises. There's nothing wrong with marketing or hyping a
product to get it noticed, as long as it's honest hype. Don't send
people away thinking there gonna look like their favorite pro bodybuilder
after taking Brand X protein for 6 weeks. We have a responsibilty
to educate ourselves about our bodies and what we put in them. A
new lifter trying to figure out the supplement industry is like
tap dancing acrossed a mine field. Learn the ropes and you will
never step on another supplemental landmine again.