Still Sellin' What Nobody's Buyin'!
By Marcus Conners

A closer look at the scams of today's supplement industry that we thought disappeared with rainbow-colored Zubaz and 20 set bicep workouts...


You naughty marketeers at Cytodyne need to be a little more forthright with the consumer about exactly what it is we're getting out of our Cytopro protein. The label clearly states that each scoop contains "3.5grams of our revolutionary proprietary Cytodyne formula". How is it possible to retail Cytopro protein (105g of Cytodyne combined with 720g of whey isolate) for $42.99 while the Cytodyne capsule formula (98.5g of Cytodyne without the protein) retails for $79.99. I called one of Cytodyne's tele-gurus (I use that title very cautiously) to get to the bottom of this. I think their chin is still bruised from their jaw hitting the ground when I brought this little mishap to their attention. Unfortunately, they had no feasible answers to provide me with. I then proceeded to move up the food chain until I finally got one of their managerial types to admit that the ratios of ALC, PS, Glutamine, etc. had been manipulated from their original Cytodyne capsule format to keep costs down on the Cytopro. After all, who in the hell is going to buy 2 lbs of protein for $100 plus? Despite the fact that I just proceeded rip Cytodyne a new one, I will say in all fairness that Cytopro does appear to be a decent product. I just have a hard time forfeiting my cash to companies that have no marketing integrity. End of story.

Nitrotech. Could you please be a little more misleading on your label claims?

This is going to sound like another episode from the Cytodyne saga but once again I couldn't resist so here goes. If you'll kindly direct your attention to the front label of Muscletech's revolutionary (once again, I use that word very loosely) protein it clearly states that it "contains 97% whey protein isolate". Sounds like pretty good stuff, right? After all, it also includes the new glucose disposal agent Inzitol (pinitol), a little extra taurine and some ALA (alpha lipoic acid). These all seem to be wonderful things. Don't jump on the wagon so fast my friend. If you'll take a moment to direct your attention to the list of ingredients, you will notice that whey isolate is nowhere near the top of the list. In fact, it is several ingredients down on the totem pole. Did they lie about the ingredients? No, it does indeed contain 97% whey isolate just as the Home Shopping Network's 3 carat cubic zirconia ring contains 14k gold plating. Wording can be tricky. Don't be sucked into these types of juvenile scams or you'll be $41.99 deep on a jug of whey concentrate that you could have paid $20 for.

Nice try Bill (Darwin) Phillips

This is almost painful to write about. I had nothing but the utmost respect for EAS and Muscle Media 2000 for many years, but those days are definitely behind me now. I really have nothing bad to say about the quality of EAS products. The quality control seems to have remain intact from the good ol' days. Although, I really question their slogan, "Where Science Never Stands Still". Science has indeed been standing still for quite sometime over there in Golden, CO. I don't believe they've innovated anything all that new since HMB and I think I'll let the results people got from that product speak for itself. Oh, except Bill who "feels like he's using Deca!" when he's on it. Anyhow, back to the subject at hand. I've been pointing out something suspicious to people for the last couple of years now. Touche' Testosterone for beating me to the punch in writing about this one. What's up with that damn evolution ad EAS has been running in Muscle Media? You know the one... where the fat, prozac-dependent, hairy guy turns into a manly, testosterone-screaming, stud beast in a mere 12 weeks. Wow Bill! Your products and training advice must have been nothing short of ingenious to get Clark in that kind of shape in only 3 months. Especially since he's only been a top notch fitness model and bodybuilding competitor (please reference the older MM2K, Muscular Development, Ironman, ESPN Bodyshaping, etc., etc.) for God knows how many years now. If you'll kindly have a gander at exhibit A (The Evolution of Clark Bartram), you'll notice that Clark becomes quite a specimen in only 12 weeks time, but only with Master Bill's advice of course.


Cell Tech. 678.4% better than creatine

If I had a nickel for everytime I had to explain the marketing hoax behind this whole jug-o-creatine/sugar thing I'd have been long since retired now. Lets get something straight once and for all; creatine is creatine as long as it's from a reptuable source such as SKW, the world's largest manufacturer in Germany. Will adding a high glycemic carb help creatine get in the muscle? Sure it will. Insulin plays a role in nearly every storage process in our bodies, fat, carbs, and yes, even creatine. Does that justify the price tag on this product? Not hardly, considering a 2lb bag of dextrose retails for about 3 bucks. I'll let you do the math on that one. Not to mention, I noticed something very suspicious when tooling around at the Arnold Schwarzengger Classic last weekend. Muscle-Tech was handing out these shirts saying "Cell Tech, 1800% better than creatine". I even saw one that said 2200% ! How did we all of the sudden go from 600% to 2200% ? The funny part is that the formula hasn't ever changed a bit, only the marketing hype has. Does the word integrity mean anything to you guys? Uhhhh, guess not.

Chitosol. "You don't have to watch what you eat or subject yourself to those strenuous workouts"
---gimme a friggin break!

I do apologize that I'm wasting space in this article to even address these morons but hey, infomercials need a profuse smacking about the neck and ears too from time to time. I'm assuming any individual who devotes the time to educating themselves by reading Shapeshifter doesn't need to be told that weight training is the key to building a lean, attractive physique in a timely manner. Not to mention the improved hormonal profiles in males and females, improved lactate removal, increased insulin sensitivity, improved bone density, improved cardiovascular efficacy and improved self esteem (from your improved, hot body). You mean to tell me all these people who have changed their quality of life through proper training and diet were wasting their time all along? All they needed was a box of Ho-Ho's and a 60 day supply of Chitosol and my abilities as a trainer would've been null and void? Wow... now that's a pretty nifty product. Nuff said.

Something's Rotten in Golden again

All right, I don't mean to be the world's biggest Bill detractor, but he's making it just a bit too easy for me to pass up the opportunity. You all remember Scott Nelson?... our fit friend from Muscle Media's training advice column who never had the motivation to get serious about his workouts until Bill's magical little training system came along... It seems to me I remember Scott winning the Gopher State bodybuilding championships sometime back in the mid-eighties. Damn Bill, that's almost as bad as trying to convince us it was your products and advice that got Clark Bartram in top notch condition. Ok, I promise to lay off Bill now.

The Beast

This one definitely takes the cake. Just the name should pretty much say it all, but just in case you actually need more evidence to avoid this product like the head of Jack Nicholson's golf club in LA rush hour trafiic, let's have a closer look at the list of ingredients:

Estrone: Great for men who want to effortlessly grow a big porno-star sized pair of jugs.

Estradiol: Similar to estrone but packs about ten times the estrogenic punch.

Cortisol: Best weight loss supplement on the market. That is, if your goal is to primarily lose muscle.

And if the pathetic everything-and-the kitchen-sink list of ingredients wasn't enough, it is also a homeopathic formula. In other words it wouldn't contain enough of the active ingredients to have an effect anyway.


How can these guys look us in the face and say Marla Duncan lost weight because of Hydroxycut? Given that she is pregnant in the before pic, but not the after, I should hope she lost a few pounds when she popped the little rugrat out. You gotta love when a company credits their product for getting a world-class fitness model in shape even though the model was in superior shape before the product was ever on the market. Doesn't it make ya wonder?


Now we all know the old rule of thumb in the supplement biz. If a product is named after a steroid, it's probably bunk. If the company in question actually has the balls to say it works like steroids too, then their product is as fake as Mark Wahlberg's unit was at the end of Boogie Nights. This company has ridden this marketing strategy to the hilt. Their ads have more made up six-syllable words, junk science and bullshit testamonials than any ten shady companies out there. Take their Decavar subject "Tammy" for instance. She got more gains in six weeks on Decavar than she had in her previous five years of training. What they didn't mention in the study was that Tammy's neighborhood YMCA she had always trained at didn't buy any weight equipment until about six weeks ago. Of course, "IntraGROWTH is to growth hormone what Paradeca, Decavar, and Methoxygen are to anabolic/androgenic steroids". Yes, and VPX is to sports nutrition what the San Diego Chargers were to football last season... the bottom of the totem pole.

The Final Word

Will this article put a stop to the marketing madness in the nutrition industry today? Not a chance, but if it saves one or two 16 year old weightlifting newbies from wasting their money needlessly then it was worth our time. There are so many supplements on the market today that are truly phenomenal and companies that price their products fairly without an earful of empty promises. There's nothing wrong with marketing or hyping a product to get it noticed, as long as it's honest hype. Don't send people away thinking there gonna look like their favorite pro bodybuilder after taking Brand X protein for 6 weeks. We have a responsibilty to educate ourselves about our bodies and what we put in them. A new lifter trying to figure out the supplement industry is like tap dancing acrossed a mine field. Learn the ropes and you will never step on another supplemental landmine again.